Spring Cleaning: The Suite Science
by Rob Swanson

He is the Professor of Clean. Strap a bow-tie on him and he even looks like a Science Teacher. In fact, if you blend Martha Stewart, Mr. Monk, and a machine gun together, you’ll end up with Leonard Lippy, owner-operator of Dove Cleaning Services and the answer-man for all things clean. Ask him about Spring Cleaning and with rapid-fire delivery he’ll compress a two-hour seminar into five minutes filled with common sense you’ve never heard before.

“Your house has been shut up all winter and it needs to breathe, but if you do that first, you’ll ruin your home environment.”

Preparing to Inhale: First, pull down all the air-vents and window screens. Soak the vents in a combination of liquid laundry soap and warm water. While they soak, wipe down the air duct and vent edges with a cloth misted in rubbing alcohol. Before reinstalling the vents, wipe them down with alcohol to kill bacteria.

Clean the window screens with the same soap and water mixture, being sure to rinse and dry completely before misting them with rubbing alcohol and reinstalling. Notice how dirty the cleaning water is. Skip this step and you’ll be breathing that dirt because…

Breathe In, Breathe Out: Now you’re ready to let your house breathe. Throw open all the windows! Strip the beds, mist one side with rubbing alcohol and flip the mattresses, misting that side also. Leave them uncovered for at least 12 hours before wrapping them in clean sheets. All cushions from chairs and couches should be placed outside for the afternoon to air out.
Pack Away Winter: Box winter clothes with dryer sheets to keep them fresh and bug-free. Use plastic bins instead of boxes because roaches love cardboard. Stuff winter shoes with plastic wrap to hold their shape. Plastic wrap won’t attract ants like tissue paper does, and it doesn’t stick to leather or absorb odors.

Scour out the Kitchen: Wash the oven vent and the refrigerator drip pan. Move the fridge and wipe out underneath. Mist it all liberally with rubbing alcohol. Empty the fridge of anything growing. Rub stainless steel sinks with peanut oil and let sit for a couple hours before wiping the oil off. Then you’ll wonder why it was called “stainless.”

Dust off your Troubles: Never, never, never dry dust! All you’re doing is moving the dirt around and scuffing your furniture. Always damp-dust by misting a cloth with rubbing alcohol and wiping gently, top to bottom. Same is true for floors. Brooms make dirt and dust airborne before settling back to earth. Damp mop instead.

What about the Bathroom? “Forget it; your magazine isn’t big enough. Check out my website, “www.cleanforlifeonline.com” and learn all my secrets.”